about attachment

so, Buddhism teaches us that the source of all misery is attachment, and to achieve happiness we must let go of our attachments (in whatever form they come). which anyone can tell you is a lot easier said than done. i have found that trying to identify attachments and questioning why i am attached helps a lot; however, not only is that method highly subjective but i am definitely no authority on spiritual or psychological matters. and what's worse: it doesn't even always help. sometimes it is simply too difficult to discern the true source of certain attachments (maybe because the mind is clouded, or the ego prevents us from being honest to ourselves at certain times), or i simply like being attached to a certain thing.

take music, for example. i love music and if i had to go without it, i might not necessarily go insane, but give it no longer than a day or two and i'd long for it with every fibre of my being. yet it is an abstract thing, nothing immediately necessary for survival, like food, shelter, clothing, etc. in that sense i don't find it wrong to say that my attachment to music is something that prevents me from achieving true happiness, since my craving for music makes me long for it in its absence.

'but,' you might protest, 'how can music be bad? is it really that bad to wanna listen to music? after all there are lots of studies that prove the positive effects of music on the human psyche' – and i would absolutely agree. which is exactly my point. the idea of wanting to let go of something as harmless as music appears so silly and futile because we are emotional beings and as such we want too feel the influence of stimuli such as music. it is inspiring, it makes us feel good, it can help chase away bad moods, it can motivate us, etc.

of course, music is just an example here. there are other things that can captivate us, and even if we're fully aware of being under the magical spell of whatever those other things are, maybe we simply don't want to be free from that certain attachment.

sounds like a true dilemma, then. are we attached to attachment? maybe, to a certain degree. if solving this problem was so easy the path to enlightenment would be a much shorter one.

so, the best i can do for now is trying continuously to identify my attachments and evaluate them on a case-to-case basis. doesn't make it easier to let go of the ones that i don't wish to let go of, but maybe i just need a little more time. it takes internal strength to do things that we actually don't wanna do, so maybe this is just the lazy dog within me procrastinating.

at any rate, i should really join a sangha again. after i moved from the other end of the country back to my home region i didn't really have the motivation, but i think it's exactly these kind of questions and dilemmas that are best discussed with someone who knows a lot more about Buddhist teachings than i do.